Simply Progress

Days, weeks, months, even years has passed. The day i fell apart was due to my own high expectation over an imperfect selfish creature called human being, as they said nobody is perfect. You know disappointment certainly not a cool thing to experience regardless of the lesson you have got to learn from it, i agree that it's undeniably made you stronger than before. The thing is, while the other half of you dead tired, you still need to survive, going through the bitter part and deal with the struggle in exchange to be able to control your emotion before it controls you, you might be breaking in the process, shattered, but it helped you to grow beautifully and completely. Something that i feel so grateful i actually passed the phase.

I still remember the day my tears became a waterfall on both of my cheeks, forgetting is loud indeed. How i was left behind with so many questions, what went wrong and how unlovable my look was, i started questioning my worth with distasteful thoughts. How i hated myself because i couldn't be something they expected me to be, if only i was pretty, if only i was funny, if only my personality was admirable, it got me thinking it was all my fault that i was unacceptable in the eyes of someone i adored so much. Oh God knows the amount of regret i had for loving the wrong person so deeply. But this journey made me into who i am now, because i will never feel the same ever again, nothing ever feel the same again. And that's when i knew i had moved on, i looked back and it all made sense.

I would never point my finger and accuse someone for putting me in such difficult situation, for making me devastated in grief. The lesson taught me a lot about different perspective from different point of view, it gave me an opportunity to think wiser. It feels good when you know you’re doing great with yourself, minding your own business, it’s nice to know you’re on progress to be the best version of yourself. Although i am kinda constantly terrified of whats coming next since i don't have control over it. But God made me realize a beautiful thing, and it made me brave.

If something is destined for me, never in a million years will it be for somebody else.